Homeowner shoveling snow for the neighborhood is confronted by neighbor who assumes he has been hired by the HOA and demands he clear her walkway: 'I've been waiting for my walkway to be shoveled out. Are you going to do it today?'

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Feb 9, 2026 10:00 AM EST

Going out of your way to do favors for people is the right thing to do; it feels good and fulfills the social contract, that unspoken agreement that we will look out for one another because some day we may need to rely on that same act of grace. But there's something that happens when you do something for enough people or for long enough: it stops being a "favor" and simply becomes an expectation, and at that point, things can't keep going the way that they were.

When you're volunteering or otherwise going the extra mile to do something for your community, as with anything you do in life, you're bound to run into those who are eager to take advantage of a good thing. They see generosity as something to be taken advantage of, not as something to be revered and respected. It's almost as if they are determined to ruin something that is being done simply for the good of the people, out of the kindness of someone's heart.

And everywhere you turn in life, you see this: people looking to close the gap and exploit any opportunity for a profit. It is, after all, what we've been trained to do: chase that hustle, adopt that grindset. (You just have to "lock in.") The reality is that, unless you're born into it, money doesn't grow on trees, and there are way more limitations built into the system than you might be led to believe, and you will need to scrape and scrimp your way to the top of the heap of masses that are looking to do the same. And it's a shame because instead of lifting each other up, we are pushing each other down, aiming to stand on the heads of others if it gets us just that little bit further up the heaving pile. 

We've literally reached the point where every gap gets closed, monetized, optimized. It's like that anecdote you see everywhere about how in the 2010s, taco trucks used to be somewhere you could go to get the best taco of your life for $3. Now, 10-15 years later, they're all being run by business students who are selling average-at-best tacos for $10.50 a pop. And even things like shoes, card games, electronics, and anything that has any sort of limited appeal associated with it that can be bought and sold for a profit, are.

Altruism for the sake of community and the social contract almost feels out of place in a life where we are increasingly incentivized to exploit one another, and as we feel better about doing so, we are simultaneously isolated from both each other and the world immediately around us. But, we simply can't let the detractors and bad actors distract and discourage us from what is such a vital part of our social experience. 

Wild weather brings out something of the same in us. It's almost Shakespearean in a sense where it seems to be a reflection (or cause?) of moral and emotional disturbances in the world around us.

When you're able and have the means to do so, it's always nice to go out of your way on a blustery winter's day and help excavate your elderly neighbors' cars and property to ensure that they aren't completely snowed in. But, any time you're out doing something for the community, you need to be wary of the community busybodies who want to know exactly what you're doing, who authorized you to do it, and whether or not you're going to be doing it for free for them also. Navigating these engagements with these people takes tact and poise that a lot of us didn't sign up for. Which is exactly how it was when this homeowner was confronted by a busybody entitled neighbor who so desperately wanted him to shovel her walkway for her, and pronto!

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  • A man dressed in heavy winter clothing shovels snow out of the walkway
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    A homeowner works hard to clear the driveway and walkway of the heavy, freshly fallen knee-deep snow. 

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • "I'm NOT shoveling your walkway and I'm NOT with the HOA."

    In my community all of the homes have driveways and garages. But it also has additional off- street parking along a service road that circles the neighborhood.
    via ted_anderson
  • We've been snowed in with sub-freezing temperatures for the last week and a half so now that we got a few warmer days, it was time to start digging out.
    via ted_anderson
  • I went to shovel out my spare vehicle which is on the service road and I decided to wear my full winter weather getup that I use while working in construction.
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  • Parked in front and behind me were both my elderly next door neighbor and my friend who lives on the other end of the neighborhood so I shoveled out their cars also.
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  • I was right there, I didn't mind, no big deal. I took care of it. After finishing up the 3rd car, this woman with "karen" tendencies walked up to me saying "Helllooooooooo!!!!!!
    via ted_anderson
  • Yes! You! I've been waiting for my walkway to be shoveled out. Are you going to do it today?" Ummm...no.
    via ted_anderson
  • I had no idea who she was or why she thought I was the one that was going to do her shoveling.
    via ted_anderson
  • It took me a minute to figure out what she was trying to convey because at first I thought I might have shoveled out her car by mistake (thinking it belonged to my friend) and now she was mad that I did it.
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  • I dunno. She didn't scream or create a scene. But I'm guessing that she thought I was with the HOA and I was coming to shovel her walkway.
    via ted_anderson
  • To give this context, my HOA is not that great. The good thing is that they don't bother you with stupid rules or give anyone a hard time.
    via ted_anderson
  • But the not-so- good thing is that they're not easy to get a hold of and they're slow to respond when you need them.
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  • Like with many other things, it's their responsibility to do snow removal. You can either handle it yourself or you can wait 3 weeks.
    via ted_anderson
  • And when you call them up, it goes to an answering machine. So I'm guessing that the lady called the HOA and then saw me outside shoveling a little while later.
    via ted_anderson
  • I don't know if she's new to the neighborhood but for as long as I've been living there, it's kinda been an unwritten rule that if you're able and willing to shovel your driveway, you also shovel out half of the street in front of your driveway so that you don't create a patch of ice that's hard to navigate.
    via ted_anderson
  • A side effect is that when everyone does it, the road is passable. It's not perfectly clear but enough of the snow is removed to where people can get in and out.
    via ted_anderson
  • But anyhow I went on to shovel my elderly neighbor's walkway and the whole time the lady is pestering me about when it's going. to be "her turn" because she's got places to go and things to do.
    via ted_anderson
  • That's when I realized what was going on and what she was thinking. And I simply said, "I'm not with the HOA.
    via ted_anderson
  • I live here." And maybe she didn't understand but she practically followed me around the neighborhood while I helped some of my other neighbors.
    via ted_anderson
  • A man dressed in leather winter gear shovels snow in front of a green gate as it still falls around him
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Trin959 No good deed goes unpunished. The wildest story I heard in a similar vein was this: I live in a small town so no HOAs to deal with, thank God. But we'd had a few feet of snow and a guy who is part-owner of a local impliment dealer took a small tractor with a bucket on the front around to clear people's drives for free. He's been doing this for years and never charged anyone. It's his good neighbor project. Anyway, this time one guy chewed him out for not doing more around the guy's house
    via ted_anderson
  • ted_anderson Original Poster's Reply Yeah.. I've heard the whole, "If you can't to a completely excellent job, you shouldn't even bother doing it in the first place." argument before. Never mind that I'm doing you a favor or this is an emergency that I'm mitigating.
    via ted_anderson
  • K1yco > But anyhow I went on to shovel my elderly neighbor's walkway and the whole time the lady is pestering me about when it's going to be "her turn" because she's got places to go and things to do Even if you were the HOA provided shoveler, the answer would be when you're not in the middle of shoveling someone else's drive way. She wouldn't want someone stopping in the middle of working on hers if someone else came up and asked you.
    via ted_anderson
  • ted_anderson Original Poster's Reply So true.
    via ted_anderson
  • yarevande Many people don't take the time to read and understand the responsibilities of their Homeowners Association or condo managemnent, vs. their responsibilities. And they don't ask questions. Get to know your neighbors, people. Ask them how things work (and don't work) in your subdivision or condo!
    via ted_anderson
  • ted_anderson Original Poster's Reply That's an excellent point. I wasn't offended by her approach but I'm sure it would have gone differently had she introduced herself and asked me if I was from the HOA instead of assuming that I was.
    via ted_anderson
  • broke_velvet_clown Dude down the street, back when we used to get snow, had an industrial strength snow blower, it was gigantic, like any bigger it would have to be operated by another piece of equipment while he sat and operated it. He would walk with it clearing lanes in the street, back and forth and cut into your driveway so you didn't have to shovel that part. We had a, what I would call medium sized snow blower but next to his was a toddler's plastic ball popping vacuum cleaner, that I wou
    via ted_anderson
  • ted_anderson Original Poster's Reply >A few of those family's complained to him about not clearing their driveway while he was out, so he stopped doing it at all and so did I. This is what I tried to explain to my entitled nephew. The neighbor next door to where he and his mother live has one of those cheapo snow blowers that cuts a path only 16 inches wide. He runs a sidewalk path from the neighbors' driveways on both sides. My nephew was going to blast him on social media and I said, "This guy
    via ted_anderson
  • Rational1x Went to visit my widowed senior mom, who lived out on the Olympic Peninsula. Woke up the first day with about 18" of fresh snow on her 45-foot-long double wide driveway. I grabbed her snow shovel from her garage and started shoveling, long story short, first one neighbor, then four more neighbors all showed up with their shovels, and the six of us had a great morning shoveling every driveway on her street. It was a great morning.
    via ted_anderson
  • ted_anderson Original Poster's Reply My mom is in a similar situation. But she has abled body people living with her who don't like to shovel snow. And so I tell them all the time, "You need to go out there when your neighbors are shoveling and everyone will come over and help." But they want me to drive 20 miles to come over there and help. No.
    via ted_anderson
  • thebenson >We've been snowed in with sub- freezing temperatures for the last week and a half so now that we got a few warmer days, it was time to start digging out. Your HOA should be doing this for you, but if you're going to do it yourself it is a mistake to wait until the end of the storm to start clearing snow. That's how you end up with an unmanageable amount of snow to clear and have people dying from heart attacks while clearing snow. You should shovel/clear the snow periodically, even wh
    via ted_anderson
  • ted_anderson Original Poster's Reply It was still manageable. Like the riddle goes; How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. People tend to injure themselves because they try to do too much at one time. It's not race to the finish line nor is it some kind of competition. It's something that you have fun doing and then you enjoy the outcome of your efforts. Go inside when you get cold, take frequent breaks, drink plenty of water, and you'll be fine.
    via ted_anderson
  • thebenson >It's something that you have fun doing It must not snow very much where you're from lol.
    via ted_anderson
  • ted_anderson Original Poster's Reply Nope. It snows maybe once a year. Everything else is either a dusting or something that washes away the same day.
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  • Stellar1557 "Hang on, let me check the calendar... Yeah it looks like your driveway isn't scheduled until June 15th."
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  • ted_anderson Original Poster's Reply Good one! I love it.
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  • Mojojojo3030 I like the charging her money ideas, but am I the only ghoul who would have just told her: "NO. I am never going to clear your driveway. I don't have to listen to you, and I'm not going to do anything you say. It's going to stay iced over and there's nothing you can do about it. I might even take this snow and add it to your driveway. Nyah nyah nyah. If you don't like it call in and complain." Technically true, technically not pretending to be the HOA in any way. Her reaction is wor
    via ted_anderson
  • ted_anderson Original Poster's Reply It kinda went that way for a short period of time but I was just trying to get my car shoveled out while helping my neighbor. And I honestly don't think she was trying to cause any trouble. It's just that she was frustrated with the situation as we all were.
    via ted_anderson
  • harinonfireagain I'm in a small town between two business districts. My sidewalk has dozens of pedestrians an hour. I keep the sidewalk for the whole block passable. The town plows pile the snow up waist high, sometimes higher, at the corners. I have the tools I need to break through those drifts to restore the pedestrian crossings, including a sledge hammer and a maul for this last frozen insanity. When I get home from work, after dark, I go out and reopen them if they've been plowed in again.
    via ted_anderson
  • ted_anderson Original Poster's Reply I love it. I was thinking about that the other day while shoveling and how people are going to drive past my house and wonder why everything looks picture-perfect "clean" while the rest of neighborhood is covered in nasty road slush. I was thinking about how they would probably say, "Oh.. I bet that the HOA president lives there!"
    via ted_anderson

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